April is the crudest month, according to Mr. Eliot. But I believe March is crueller. For March is Women's History Month, and from out of every crevice and dark hole, like Orcs scurrying from J.R.R. Tolkien's Minas Morgul, come she-things swinging their war-axes, craving blood and ideological battle. Behold, the wrath of Mordor.